“Be mindful of your cape when you pee.”

“Be mindful of your cape when you pee.”  That’s what Wonder Woman, aka my favorite trainer at the gym, shared with me this morning.  I told her I would remember that the next time I’m wearing a cape.  She looked at me and asked what I meant because she could see my cape, why can’t I.  And that got me to thinking. (“I was thinking…” a statement that usually sparks terror in my husband, but it is Halloween after all. Right?)

I don’t feel all strong and powerful today.  I’m in the final push of my prednisone taper (9 years of prednisone without breaks) and this push will be the hardest.  I have such back/kidney pain that I want to crawl into a ball and die. I’m tired.  And I sure don’t feel like a super hero today, that’s for sure.  It would have been really easy to just stay in bed all day but instead, I chose to get up and fight by going to the gym and getting in a run. Was it pretty? Nope.  Was it fast? God no. I just listened to my body and I ran at a pace that was comfortable.  No speed work.  No worrying about pace… And when I felt the need to slow things down further and walk, I did that too.  None of this makes me a superhero. But, I hope it inspires people to make a choice and do what is needed to fight through whatever it is you are battling. What I mean by that is that how you fight is a personal choice based off how you feel in that moment.  Nobody gets to decide for you.  It’s YOUR decision. And if you wake up and feel that you need to stay curled up in bed, then do that.  Do exactly that. Because that’s what your body and psyche need. For me, today, I needed to feel normal. To do something that is routine. Tomorrow may be a different story.  And that’s ok.  Because this is MY fight and nobody else’s.  I don’t have a lot of control right now over any of this, but there are a few things I can, and how I fight this beast, regardless of the outcome, is purely within my control.

So, maybe my favorite trainer is right.  Maybe I am wearing a superhero cape after all.  Maybe we all are.  We just have to remember it’s there.  And be mindful of it when we pee… 

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