The end of the year is always a time of reflection. We look back and then forward with hopes things will be better. We make Resolutions towards being a better version of ourselves. However this time, my goal is to just be more appreciative of the many blessings in my life and to continue to enjoy this wonderful gift of remission I’ve been given because I have my health back.
I work in an all boys Catholic high school and I love it. I believe I have the best job and colleagues on this planet. We have an upcoming faculty/staff retreat next week, and I was asked to share where it was I experienced God’s grace on campus. Normally I would say no way. But after this past year, how could I not? Because it was these very people who carried me through this past year with their love, support and prayer. They are part of my extended family and I’m incredibly thankful to and for them. From my boss whose primary concern was ME. Not how anything was going to get done but that I get well, and my colleagues who stepped in and helped with my workload. And then there were two alumni parents who happen to also be doctors and worked to get me well. I owe them a debt of gratitude which can never be repayed. They saved my life. Of that I’m sure.
Rather than spend this past year being thankful, I spent much of it angry at God. Why? I asked. How much more of this was I supposed to endure because I wasn’t sure I had the strength to make it through much more. I was so angry I not only stopped talking to Him, I stopped listening as well. It took yet another colleague to share a moment of grace she experienced which really resonated with me and got me to thinking. And what I realized was that the whole time I thought He had abandoned me, he was really there all along, working through so many people: my loved ones, my friends, my colleagues… I was never alone.
And now, my goal for next year is to not only enjoy my remission but to pay the many kindnesses I received forward. To be a good friend, to keep my heart open and to act when I am called upon. To not take a single day for granted. I have no idea how long I will stay in remission but I now know what a gift good health really is.
So here is to 2017. A year of good health and 0God’s grace for each and every one of us.