Tag Archive | stress reduction

Embrace the lessons

Still sick. It’s a sinus infection gone sideways and now my jaw is locked. Seriously. Can’t make this stuff up! And now I don’t care if I never see another bowl of applesauce again. COMPLIANT applesauce because even though I can eat precious little right now, I’m still keeping to the plan.

A dear friend said she’s praying “It’s enough Lord” for me. No kidding, right?! But that got me to thinking… perhaps the prayers should be that I embrace the lessons and be grateful for the journey. Because it’s through this journey that I see goodness and hope. People are now reaching to me for help with their illnesses. Friends are sharing what I’ve been through with others and encouraging them to reach out to me. And that they actually want to hear what it is I have to say is still hard for me to wrap my head around…

I’ve been praying for the Lord to show me His purpose in all of this and every day it becomes more clear. Perhaps not only is each experience meant to make us stronger but we are to then to go forth and share those lessons with others. And that is now where I am in my journey. Talking to people. Sharing what I’ve learned and where to turn for help.  Holding their hand through this as someone held mine. Modeling that having a chronic illness does not have to mean the end of the world but that it is instead the start of a new one full of promise and hope.

I’m not perfect. Dealing with my illness is hard and I have to be ever vigilant. And there are times, such as now where I could easily give up and stop hoping. Times where I don’t want to do any of this anymore if I’m going to be brutally honest. But what keeps me going is hope. Hope that I have more good days than bad. Hope that I can make a difference in this world. In somebody’s life. Hope that all of this isn’t for nothing.

So whatever it is you are going through. Be grateful for it for there is a lesson just waiting to be embraced. One which could change your life for the better.




Asthma and emotions/stress

The declining health of a parent, the anniversary of the death of a loved one, work stress…  All things out of our control and yet things which affect us emotionally.  All things which may make it hard to eat, to sleep, to concentrate.  Well when you have asthma, stress can affect your breathing. Stress is the enemy to asthma and anyone who has asthma needs to learn how to manage stress.  And it’s hard.

Believe me. I sit here typing after having my third breathing treatment of the day.  I was up all night unable to breathe.  I started coughing until I gagged and vomited.  Awesome, right?  And why?  Because rather than keeping my stress in check, I let it fester and grow until it made me physically sick.

I talk about food and health and how important it is to eat healthy to stay healthy.  But emotional health is important too.  I shared this with a student the other day who was very stressed.  I told him to find a time in his day to regroup and breathe.  And normally, I follow my own advice. There’s always time in your day.  ALWAYS!  Find something that calms you and make time for that. Go for a run, listen to music, go outside for fresh air.  Remove yourself from the situation.  Don’t let the small things become big things. Talk to a friend or loved one.  Whatever it is that works for you, do that.  Because nothing is more important than your health. Nothing. As for me, worrying won’t make my mom better or bring my loved one back or make that colleague any easier to work with.

If you have asthma, I challenge you to find small ways in which to work on handling the stress in your life.  When I actually practice what I preach, my asthma stays in check. I saw the warning signs but I refused to stop and listen.  I’ve been using my emergency inhaler so much the prescription I filled on April 4 is already empty and I can’t get another inhaler until May 4 without my doctor’s intervention.  I also know that because I let things get this far and I’m bordering on bronchitis I’m probably going to be forced to take a prednisone burst.  And darn it, I know better.  Because now here I am beating myself up… more stress.  I would laugh but that makes me cough!

So, learn from me.  Not taking your health seriously can have serious consequences. Pay attention to your emotions, get rest, eat properly and follow your asthma action plan. Reminders for both you and me. Together we CAN do this! We CAN keep our asthma under control.




What a difference

What a difference hard work and determination can make, and what a long way I’ve come. The photo on the right is 4 years ago, full of prednisone and a few months after surgery number two. The photo on the left is today-completely weaned off all meds and in remission. Life is good. And looking at these two photos, how can you not believe that clean eating is the best thing for you. Is my journey over? No. I have a long way to go. But looking at this photo, I see how very far I’ve come.


It’s St Patrick’s Day and I hate corned beef. So, this is what was for dinner. Salmon with Dijon mustard, honey, lemon and dill in the instant pot and green beans with a little Cajun powder from Penzies Spices. Much tastier, I say.


I also was wanting something special for dessert and came across this recipe from Barefoot Provisions:

For this epic shake- you’ll need:

1 cup almond milk
2 handfuls ice
1-2 tbsp coconut sugar
3/4 tsp mint oil or extract (fresh mint would be great)
1 tbsp cacao nibs
inch of vanilla bean
1 tbsp of your favorite nut butter

These are ingredients I always have on hand. And, because I’m still fighting off a sinus infection, I also threw in a little VSL3 probiotic for good measure…


So, you see, anything is possible if you work hard enough for it.  I’m not missing out on anything and, most importantly, for the first time in a really long time I feel great and I think it shows. Honestly, if I can do this, so can you!






Feeding your soul

I share with you much about feeding your body but not of feeding your soul. And as I type this I’m doing just that. It’s four o’clock in the morning and I sit on the balcony overlooking the ocean. Not another soul is stirring. It’s just me and my thoughts and the sound of the ocean in a place which means so much to me. A place which evokes so many memories of my children and my own childhood. Today, this is my church and I sit in the silence  just listening. God is all around me. I feel it and I am comforted. A friend of mine said many are with me this weekend as I walk the beach and also as I pray. And I feel it. I feel their prayers and love. In this moment I know I’m not alone.

I share this with you because we all need to experience a moment like this. To be still and just feel. To listen. And it’s a rare moment we do just that. And it doesn’t have to be at the ocean. We just need to find a moment in our day to still ourselves. To center ourselves body, mind and spirit. We are so careful of what we put in and on our bodies but what of our soul? To truly heal, we must care for that as well.

I challenge you to do just that. Find a quiet place and just be. Listen to the things around you. The wind or the rain, the birds… Just listen and breathe. If you need to, go back in your mind to a moment or place in time. Hear the sounds, breathe in the scents. Breathe… I guarantee you will find the same innner peace I did this morning.




Non Scale Victories

We get so caught up in the numbers; I get caught up in the numbers.  And by doing so, we set ourselves up for failure.  For me, this reset isn’t about the numbers on a scale.  It’s about feeling good about myself, having more energy, building up my stamina. The Whole30 program says to not look at your scale for 30 days.  Do you know how hard that is?  Of course you do.  But you know what?  They are right!  Since I started my reset, I’ve noticed my clothes fit better.  I FEEL better, more alert.  When my alarm goes off, I can now easily wake up and I want to go to the gym (ok, let’s be honest here.  While I did hop out of bed when my alarm went off this morning, it took about 5 minutes on the treadmill before I was awake and alert!).  It has been a while since I really felt my love for running.  I’m back to planning routes in my head and, more importantly, am having fun while I run.  These are the things I’m choosing to pay attention to this month.

It’s so important to find something you like whether it be walking, running, swimming…  Just do SOMETHING!  I belong to a Runners with Rheumatoid Arthritis support group and was talking with another member about her run today and how she felt bad because she had to run/walk.  I said so what.  A mile is a mile.  Period!  It doesn’t matter that she didn’t run the whole way.  What matters is she felt good enough to get up and move today.  Celebrate THAT and be kind to yourself.

This morning, it felt great to be back on my routine and I had a great run.  And what made it great was that I did it.  I felt good and had fun competing with myself to keep my mind occupied and pass the time.  And then I worked on strength training in the weight room.  After, I rewarded myself with time in the steam room.  The beauty of that was I was able to sit in total serenity and just be.  I never allow myself that time.  But I will from now on. 

This journey I have been on, especially this past year, has been amazing.  It was difficult and there were some days I didn’t think I was going to make it through.  But I did.  And I learned so much.  I’m so grateful for everything because last year changed my life for the better. Every single day is a gift.  What people think of me is something I no longer care about because it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I feel about myself.  And, right now, I feel pretty damn good.  That’s the biggest non scale victory of all.

So, don’t beat yourself up if you are struggling. Know that there are better days ahead and, if you are having a bad one, know that it will get better.  I promise.  Find something good in each day and celebrate that. If you just signed up for a gym and are nervous and feel self-conscious, know that’s normal and then let it go.  Everyone there is so wrapped up in what they are doing and probably feel the same as you. Just do your thing and be proud of yourself.  If a full Whole30 is too much of a change right now, then don’t do it.  Don’t set yourself up for another failure because you have to be fully ready to commit.  Instead, make one small change.  Cut out soda or coffee or, gasp, sugar.  Just one.  Do that for a month and I challenge you to see if that doesn’t make a huge difference in how you feel.  At the end of that month, celebrate your accomplishment and then choose another challenge for yourself.  And don’t stop there.  Keep challenging yourself.  Trust me. This is all doable stuff. Is it hard?  You bet.  Is it worth it?  Heck yeah it is! You CAN do it!  I promise.


Stress, asthma and my reset

I had a stressful afternoon at work and then a stressful drive home trying to avoid the flooded roads and get home safe. Consequently, I had a asthma attack which required a breathing treatment. So I ran upstairs really quick to breathe in that which keeps me alive before the power goes out because it’s so windy here I just know it will. And I have my other inhalers lined up, just in case. Note-while I am off all meds, I still require the occasional treatment. It is what it is.

And that got me to thinking of stress in general and how it’s so bad for us and how it can easily affect our health, if we let it. Most days I do ok managing stress but today the stress won. Will try again tomorrow. I will say I’m proud that I came home and made a very healthy dinner which consisted of roasted Brussels sprouts, sweet potato and grilled chicken with garlic. Yum! What I really wanted was a whole carton of ice cream!

My reset is doing ok otherwise except I haven’t been for a run in over a week which means the gym tomorrow will be rough. A dear friend pointed out I won’t reach my goals if I don’t get myself to the gym. And he’s right. That half marathon isn’t going to run itself! Nobody said a reset would be easy. On the positive, I am back on the good food wagon and am thankful for my love of cooking and the new kitchen tools and small appliances I was gifted at Christmas. Now to get over my instant pot fear. I’m working on it. I did finally take it out of the box…

I guess my hope today is that I help you to realize that living a healthy lifestyle isn’t easy and while some feel I make it look easy, trust me, it’s a daily struggle. But one I know I have to continue fighting if I want to stay in remission. However it is so worth it! And, if you have an off day, it’s ok. Just pick yourself up and move forward. Always move forward!

And so now I will go back to fantasizing about being at the beach as the wind howls and the rain pounds against the window while praying the power stays on. We do have batteries, right?

Some of my meals this week. Top to bottom: 1) roasted b sprouts with a 1/4 sweet potato and grilled chicken tenders , 2) grilled chicken with roasted zucchini, spinach and red peppers and 3) Cajun  burgers over spinach with sweet potato fries.


We are not in control – from the viewpoint of a control freak

I just started week three of my prednisone taper.  And, I’m doing ok.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is just going to suck for a while but it’s temporary. My husband tells me this is actually a positive thing and, after I stopped being irritated with the comment, I realized he’s right.  It means I’m healing.  I’m strong.  I’m winning.  And yet…

I was talking to a dear friend the other day about life.  About scary family news and the inability I still have to pray.  That I’m still angry at God.  And she said to me that maybe what I’m really angry at is the fact that I’m NOT in charge. And she was 100% right! You see, I’m the type of person who is always in control.  Or at least I sure try to be.

I’m a planner. My family lovingly calls me bossy.  Because I am. I’m a take charge kind of girl who likes everything planned out.  I like knowing what to expect, how it’s going to get done and that it will, in fact, get done.  And right now I’m so totally not in control of things – both my health and others’ – that I hate it.   Sure, I can control what I eat and how and when I exercise and by doing so, I’m controlling my health to a point. But anything beyond that, especially right now, is not in my hands.  I feel so out of sorts and helpless that it is making me crazy and I don’t like that there is yet one more curveball to deal with when I’m still trying to cope with everything else.  And I wonder… maybe what she said was exactly what I needed to hear.  I know God has been sending me reminders He is here, to lean on Him.  And each reminder has been a more deliberate, harder smack upside my head.  (Have I mentioned I’m not a quick learner?) Maybe my friend is right and I’m not mad at Him but at the circumstances.  Maybe this was the “aha” moment I needed. The sign I’ve been looking for. Begging for. I also learned this weekend it’s ok to be angry at God. To question Him. That it’s normal and I’m not a bad person for doing so.  Which is good because on top of the anger was this huge load of guilt for feeling as I did.  HUGE! No wonder my body is in chaos right now.

So back to my “aha” moment.  Maybe the lesson He’s been trying to teach me is that there really IS a reason for everything (you know… that thing people always say to you.  That there is a reason to this.  That thing people say that I say never, ever to say to someone else).  Maybe there really is a purpose to our suffering.  Perhaps, for me, it was to realize I’m really not in control.  Ever. That while it’s still my job to help myself, He is calling the shots. Maybe it’s time to let go of the anger. Maybe it’s ok that I feel helpless. To let Him carry me for a bit. That by doing so I’m not weak or giving up. That the world won’t end if I’m not running every aspect of my life.  Because I can’t.  None of us can.  And that’s ok.